I didn’t believe burn out was real
If you had asked me 10 years ago if I believed ‘burn out’ was a real thing, I’d have told you “of course not. Burn out is an excuse wet-lettuces use for being lazy.”
I held that view for a long, long time. However, now I’m solidly in my thirties, I can honestly say that yes it’s real, and yes I’ve succumbed to it. If I’m honest, as well, this isn’t the first time. When I look back on my life, there have been a number of times I’ve completely burnt out, even when I didn’t believe it was real. And, lo and behold, I’m currently recovering once again.
I attempted to film a video when I took this image, but my mind just wasn’t my friend on this day. It’s one of my favourite images of the year, but my motivation had completely evaporated. Turns out that’s one of the symptoms of burnout.
Maybe you can relate to this? I know a lot of people who struggle to admit they’re overwhelmed. At this point, I’d practically call myself a veteran of burnout.
However, this time, I was prepared for it. I could see the signs of it happening, and knew it was coming if I didn’t do something about it. The problem was, even though I could see it was coming, there was very little I could actually do to stop it.
The weird thing about my burn out this time is that it was caused by things I actually wanted to do. Being a dad, having a growing family, working on my business, working on my photography; these were all things that I loved doing. Of course, with these things comes a growing amount of responsibility, with ever diminishing amounts of time to devote to them.
On a family holiday in Eryri at the end of summer. It was during this holiday I realised burnout was racing towards me (or, rather, I was racing towards burnout).
If this sounds familiar, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. I’ve used my local health service in the past, and it was exactly what I needed:
Of course, when you’re burnt out, you have very little choice but to give something up. That’s the difference between burnout and stress. Stress you can work through. You can carry on juggling everything in the knowledge that if you keep chipping away, it’ll either get better, or it’ll lead to burnout. Burnout, however, is crippling. You have to let something slide, or else you just won’t recover.
I couldn’t put my family on hold, I couldn’t neglect my business, and I couldn’t give up my responsibilities. And all of this left me with one choice: put my photography business on hold. My photography business was the only thing that would survive if I let it lie for a few weeks (or a few months as it’s turned out in the end).
Apparently, it was exactly what I needed to do. I’m solidly on my way back to being myself again, and I’m approaching a lot of things differently. And what’s more, it’s becoming apparent that it’s quite possibly the best thing I could’ve done for my photography, but that’s a story for another blog/video.
In my recovery, I’ve been working/planning behind the scenes. Watch this space
This whole experience has taught me something though. I’m only burnt out because there are so many good things in my life worth burning out over: my love of photography, a small but thriving business… too many things to list here. But most importantly, I have a family I love.
What a privilege it is to have things worth burning out for.
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